Title: Reasons
Setting/summary: The missing scenes from "all things" 
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: everything up to 'all things' plus some minor rumor 
spoilers for ep 8X08


She woke with a start, slipping swiftly from a wordless dream. The 
memory of it still sweet in her mind. The feel of it still spreading 
through her body. Warm under his blanket, she inhales his scent 
through the fabric and  closing her eyes drinks him in. 

The silence of the room buzzing in her mind, she listens for his soft 
breathing in the next room. Is he still awake? She shifts on the 
couch and stares restlessly into the dark recesses of the apartment. 

"Mulder?" she half whispers, afraid he'll answer, afraid he won't.

Nothing stirs, but the steady thumping of her heart. She lets out a 
sigh, her mind churning with conflicting emotions. Should she go 
to him? What would she say? What does she want? Who the hell is 
she kidding? She knows what she wants. She is just afraid that he 
won't. So why is she here, at this moment, after such a day, such a 
dream? It seems a bright red arrow is pointing into the next room, 
and perhaps the next chapter of her life. Their life.

Scully sits up, the blanket falling gently from her shoulders. She is 
still wearing her suit, skirt and even her damn stockings. She slips 
the stockings off, silently wishing for a change of clothes. An idea 
comes to her so suddenly that she stands up. 

She quickly moves to the bedroom,  her heart banging madly 
against her chest. The closer she gets, the harder it beats, the wind 
of her breath thick in her ears. 

The room is dark at first, but soon she makes out the outline of his 
form and the gentle shading of his features. He is lying in his bed 
under tangled sheets. His lips partly open as his eyes vibrate under 
their closed lids. 

What if he is dreaming the same dream? She wonders out of thin 
air. Fascinated by that thought and the other thoughts slipping into 
her consciousness, she gazes at him for a long moment. Noting 
every breath and quiver as if it were a secret message waiting to be 
unlocked. 

"Scully?" he mumbles in his sleep.

Startled to hear her name, Scully  moves closer to see if he says 
more. Her foot scrapes across the floor and the man in the bed 
snaps to attention.

Mulder stares through the darkness at the approaching form. The 
familiarity of it tells his body to relax even before his brain... until 
what he'd just been dreaming registers in his mind. Then he tenses 
all over again. Had he said anything out loud? What did he say?

" Scully?"

"Yes."

"Did you... um..  want something?" 

Scully hesitates and then shifts her eyes away from his direction, 
feeling them even in the darkness that surrounds them. Losing her 
nerve, she grasps at the excuse she'd fabricated for coming to the 
room. " I ... ah... Could I borrow some clothes to sleep in, Mulder? 

"Oh. Sure" Relieved by her nonchalant tone, he throws the sheet 
off and swings his bare feet to the floor.

 Scully can barely drag her eyes off his bare legs and crumpled 
boxers as he brushes past her. But he doesn't seem to notice as he 
pulls out a drawer and starts ruamging around. 

"Here." He hands her some flannel PJs and then stands awkwardly 
in front of Scully, not sure what to do.

For a moment their eyes meet and Scully has a wild desire to pull 
her clothes off right there in front of him. She slips out of her 
jacket and drapes it on his bed. His eyes drowsily follow the 
movement of her arm and then he turns toward the living room, 
leaving her alone to change. Scully stands motionless watching 
him retreat to the other room, disappointment flooding through her 
being. Why does he suddenly have to be a gentleman? She 
continues removing her clothes.

Mulder, sits on his couch limply. Why does he always find himself 
in this position. This woman he loves is in the very next room 
naked and  slipping on his PJs, Yet in a moment she will simply go 
back to sleep. Torture, pure torture. He sighs.

Well, I should at least offer the bed to her, I'll sleep here on the 
couch. That would be the right thing to do, really.

Scully pokes her head out at this  very moment. "Well, I guess...

Mulder jumps in "Why don't you sleep in my bed." Her eyes go 
wide and he quickly continues, " I'll take the couch."

"Oh. Ok... um" She moves back into the bedroom and Mulder gets 
up, following her inside.

"I'll get you a new pillow... hold on. " 

He disappears into the closet as Scully lowers herself onto his bed. 
His bed. She smooths the sheet, his sheet, and then gently slips her 
bare feet under them. She slides the sheet up over her and dips her 
head to inhale his scent lingering on the soft fabric. 

Mulder appears in the doorway with the pillow and a blanket. 
"Here you go." He pauses as he sees her in his bed, looking so 
comfortable, but then proceeds across the room. Moving around 
Scully, he reaches for the pillow she is propped on.

"Mulder?"

The tone of her voice stops his movement and he finds his eyes 
locked on hers only a few inches away. His breath catches. Their 
eyes shine with the light from the street lamps. Their breaths 
mingle in the silence. Each feeling the warm stirrings of air touch 
their cheeks. The words slip from her mind as her she flashes back 
to New Years Eve and the feel of his soft lips on hers. A tremble 
runs up her spine and she drops her eyes.

Mulder, not missing this exchange, but wary, whispers. "Do you 
want the pillow?"

She nods and shifts forward as Mulder exchanges the pillows, their 
bodies almost touching. He plumps it behind her and then smiles 
when she learns back. He opens the blanket and starts spreading it 
over her. A warmth overtakes his senses as he tucks in her tiny 
body. Acutely aware that she is gazing at him with a silence that 
deafens all else. 

"I'm not really that tired anymore. Are you?" 

Mulder clears his throat, "Not really. No, actually."

Scully pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around 
her legs, leaving space on the bed for Mulder to sit. The silent 
message communicated, Mulder sits.

Scully dips her chin and rests it on her knees, still gazing at him 
intently. "Mulder, I can't shake what Colleen said. It keeps going 
round and round in my head. Everything happens for a reason. 
Everything happens for a reason. You know?"

Mulder nods, his mind brushing past the words he uttered earlier 
that evening. The words she never heard. A smile quivers at the 
corner of his mouth." Do you believe it?" 

" I don't know. I think so... it feels right in a strange sort of way. 
That God has a purpose for all of us, a divine plan maybe? Maybe. 
"

"My Scully has become a believer." He says in a fake southern 
accent. He turns to smirk at her.

She laughs and then her brow furrows as she returns to serious 
thought. "Do you think that is why we met? So that I would 
become a believer? That I would open myself to the unexplained.... 
the miracles all around us?"

"Miracles, Scully? You sound like a New Age evangelist, as if 
there could be such a thing. Somehow I doubt that is the ooonly 
purpose of my being in your life."

"Then what Mulder? If there is a reason we are sitting here like 
this... do you really think we are here to save the world from 
aliens?"

Mulder quirks an eyebrow and shrugs. "That could be part of it."

Scully raises one of her eyebrows inquisitively and readjusts 
herself on the bed. She stretches her legs, accidentally grazing his 
hip with her toes under the sheet. Nervously she ventures. "What is 
the other part?"

Mulder stretches out across the foot of the bed and reaches for the 
other pillow. He balls it under his head and lays back, his hip still 
hot against her toes. He glances at Scully. "What do YOU think is 
the other part?" 

His eyes bore into her like twin suns and she longs to go to him, 
but something still holds her back. Something dark and tremulous 
in the pit of her stomach, crying out for his arms and afraid he 
won't give them. Afraid his eyes will laugh at her. "I asked you 
first."

He smiles and laughs,  propping his head on the pillow. "Maybe 
I'm here to drive you crazy and you're here to drive me crazy." 

"I drive you crazy?"

He grins and reaches out a hand to grab her leg in a reassuring 
gesture. The pressure of his hand sends a tremor through her and 
she feels the undeniable need to be closer, her mind madly 
searching for an excuse to slip into his space.

"Mulder, my leg is cramping. Can I stretch out?" 

"Do you want me to let you go to sleep?"

"No." She peers at him tentatively. "Why don't you sit over here," 
She indicates the area to her right on the bed. "then I can stretch 
out my legs.

"Ok." He moves over next to her trying not to betray his confusion 
as he leans against the wall behind them.

"You cold?" Scully asks.

Mulder immediately thinks of shrinkage and looks at her 
mischievously. "Why do you ask?"

Catching the sparkle in his eye, she knows his mind is in the gutter. 
What's new? What is he thinking? Oh God. "Well, I, I  meant, you 
can use the blanket. No reason I should be the only one warm, 
there is plenty to go around."

She offers him a corner and he slips his body underneath, snaking 
down onto his side as he faces her. The sheet still between them, 
Scully also scoots further under the blanket. Her head resting on 
the pillow as she stares at the ceiling.

"Is it a good kind of crazy?" She asks without looking at him.

"The best kind of crazy." He reaches out of the blanket and rests 
his fingertips against her cheek. "You remind me of who I am, why 
I'm here." 

She turns to look at him.  Her eyes, like liquid  blue pour over him 
as if in a haze. His mind fumbles for an explanation to her current 
behavior... She must be tired, he reasons. I should let her sleep. He 
draws his hand away and pushes himself up on his left arm.

"What's wrong?"

He stops and looks down at her almost directly beneath. "Well, you 
look like you're getting sleepy, I figured I should go out to the 
couch and let you sleep."

She shakes her head and slips her hand around his closest bicep. In 
a very soft voice she whispers "Stay."

He looks down at her silently. Could she mean...?

His eyebrows crawl up to his hairline. "Scully...?" She reaches her 
hand up further, her fingers brushing his cheek.

"Mulder." Her eyes search his, her meaning becoming clearer.  
Mulder dips closer. But then hesitates half way with a questioning 
look. She burrows her fingers into his hair and guides him the rest 
of the way home.

Their lips touch gently at first. Soft skin against skin. Breath 
against breath. Scully slowly parts her lips and pushes up into his 
mouth. Surprised by the aggression he moans and pushes back. 
The hot wetness spreading over both of them. His hand snakes into 
her red hair. Silky strands slipping through his fingers just as her 
silky tongue slides past his own. The sweet wetness tangling into 
endless thrusts and releases. Warmth encases his body, colors swirl 
through his mind, bursting in celebration of the passion coursing 
through his blood. Scully's arm wraps around his torso,  pulling his 
body closer.  

Shudder upon shudder courses through her tiny frame. Their 
bodies touch through the sheets while their mouths continue 
exploring. Oh God, Oh God,  her mind screams in ecstasy. 

She madly rips the sheets down with her hands and then feet so 
that they no longer stand between them. Mulder rolls his body 
closer, his heat enveloping her in ecstasy. She feels her legs bend 
and open, wrapping around his long body. 

"Scully..." He murmurs against her lips, sending a thrill through 
her being. She slips her hand under his gray shirt and starts peeling 
it off him. They break the kiss as the shirt goes over his head and 
sails through the air to the floor. Their eyes lock again and then 
Mulder's eyes travel downward. He tentatively touches her flesh 
just under the edge of the flannel nightshirt.

"Are you sure?" He asks in a gruff voice.

Her hands leave their happy exploration of his chest and travel up 
to find his face. He looks into her eyes again. The dazzling blue 
sears his soul, so powerful. If she only knew what they do to him. 
"I'm sure." Her voice is strong and low , vibrating with sexual 
meaning.

He kisses her again. Then breaks away to release her from her top, 
letting it sail across the room to join his own. His hand gently 
traces the curve of each breast, delighting at her reaction to his 
touch. He cups one and bends down to nuzzle the other, soon 
taking it's puckered skin in his mouth. Softly teasing her with his 
tongue. Her whimpers telling him not to stop, he travels from one 
breast to the other and then to the crevice just below the neck. His 
tongue scooping into the soft hollow there. Then he kisses her 
under the chin and blazes a trail up to her ear. His teeth gently pull 
at her earlobe.

Scully trembles at his breath on her ear, tickling in the best 
possible way. "Oh, Mulder." She whispers, barely conscious of the 
words. His face comes round to hers as they merge into another 
kiss. Hands trace down her sides, curving around her waist to the 
small of her back. He presses into her and she feels him hard 
against her wet center, even through their clothes. Her pelvis begin 
to rock against his body, causing a shudder to rock through him. 

"Why did it take us so long to do this?" She whispers against his 
mouth.

He laughs and raises his head to look down at her. "That's a very 
good question."

She smiles enigmatically as she rakes her fingernails down his 
side, watching him squirm, "Do you think there is a reason it didn't 
happen until tonight?"

He gives her one of those looks filled with both amazed respect 
and amused frustration. "Probably." Then he quickly places his 
fingers over her mouth before she can ask what he thinks it might 
be. Then he covers her mouth with his own, effectively putting the 
conversation on hold for the duration.

Her arms travel around his torso, feeling his muscles ripple 
beneath her fingertips. Her hand reaches down to cup his bottom. 
Then slips under his boxers to trace the firm roundness of his 
behind. She grips him and guides him closer, his hard ness fitting 
into the right groove. She gasps with pleasure. 

His hand travels down her back and slips under her waistband. 
Cupping her soft behind in response to her gasp. She grinds into 
him again and groans with pleasure. Their hips begin to rock 
together in a gentle thrust,  release. His mouth leaves hers and he 
moves down her torso with kisses, his tongue trailing a path ever 
downward. She loosens her legs around him as his body rises over 
hers. Allowing him to pull her already damp pajama bottoms from 
her legs. 

His face against her thigh, his hand slides into the dampness as her 
pelvis bucks against him. She is overflowing with wetness, her red 
curls damp with it as his fingers spread her soft folds. He slides his 
index finger inside, and she lets out a soft cry, his thumb finds the 
tiny hard knob and strokes it softly. She whimpers her mouth 
gently open. Her hips gently  thrusting against his hand as he slides 
in and out. Then her eyes open hazy and full of arousal.

She rises to look down at him. Her eyes travel down to his boxers 
and the bulge barely held back by their flimsy cloth. There eyes 
lock. "Take them off." 

His hand leaves the warm wet place and slides his boxers off with 
a sexy flourish. As soon as the restricting boxers are released,  he 
springs free, pointing straight up. A smile parts her lips and she 
looks at him, her eyes sparkling. "Is that for me?" 

He's barely able to nod before her hand grabs hold of him and 
begins stroking up from his base. Colors explode in his mind and 
he rolls onto his back, allowing her free access. She crawls over 
between his legs and kisses his erect flesh, her tongue darting out 
to tease him. His head thrashes against the pillow as Scully has her 
way with him and  she soon climbs on top of him. Not that he's 
surprised. Whenever he had pictured this moment, and it had been 
many times, he had always pictured her on top. 

She straddles him and starts positioning herself over him. He 
reaches out a hand to stop her, the Boyscout taking over 
momentarily. "Shouldn't I put on a...?"

She stops her movements and gazes down at him. "Have you had 
sex since the physical I gave you last year?"

He shifts uncomfortably under her gaze. "You know I haven't 
since... since..." The vampire lady flashes through his mind.

"I know." They are both silent for a moment. "And the other 
reason..." She trails off thinking of Emily and a much more recent 
conversation with a fertility specialist. Barren he had said, less than 
zero chance the drugs  would ever make a difference. But he 
prescribed them anyway, saying it wouldn't hurt. Mulder didn't 
know about that trip or the little pills she took every morning and 
night. But he did know she would give anything to be able to 
conceive. A small thought drifts into her consciousness that she's 
secretly hoping, somehow, tonight... She shakes her head, knowing 
it is impossible. Mulder's hand reaches up and pulls her down to 
him, their bodies entwine in an embrace and their mouths 
rediscover eachother. 

The sorrow, slips away from her, replaced with joy,  heat... and 
love? Mulder's hands find her wetness again. She feels him slip his 
long fingers inside as his thumb finds just the right spot. Oh God, 
how does he do that? How does he know? There is a reason for 
everything. The thought spirals through her mind.

Scully lifts her self up and reaches down to grab Mulder, feeling 
the hardness pulse under her touch. She guides him to her center 
and then plunges herself downwards over him. He thrusts his hips 
up to meet her, both of them letting out groans that shake the room. 
He is all the way inside her and it feels so perfect, so right. Slowly 
they begin moving, finding a mutual rhythm. Moving together as 
one. 

Mulder concentrates on stroking her while he thrusts deep inside. 
Her soft wetness enfolding him in a myriad of sensations. God, has 
it ever been so good? No. Not even close. Scully, Scully, Scully. 
He can feel her melting down against him, giving him the control. 
So he turns her on her back. Her legs grip him high up, thank God 
for flexibility. And he thrusts deeper, searching her face and 
movements for warnings that he is hurting her, but he sees only 
pleasure. So small, she is tight around him as he moves in and out. 
So silky, just like their tongues. He moves his mouth to hers and 
her arms wrap around him holding him closer. Her body moving in 
time to his, her breaths coming fast. 

She breaks with his mouth, "Oh yes, harder, faster, oh 
Muuuuuldeeeer!" he feels her moving towards climax, her muscles 
tightening around him, her pelvis rising higher with each thrust.  
He quickens his pace, matching his thumb to his hip's rhythms and 
begins to let himself relax into the sensations. She howls beneath 
him, her nails digging into his back and this sends him over the 
edge. He explodes into her and the colors in his mind seem to burst 
from the crown of his head.

Scully scrambles to hold onto Mulder as the orgasm rocks her 
body with spasm after spasm, her mind tumbling into ecstasy as he 
releases inside her. Their voices spiral through the room as they 
both climax together, in what seems like an endless thunderstorm 
of passion.

Finally, Mulder collapses onto her, both breathing in gasps. Her 
face nuzzles into his neck, gently kissing him under his chin while 
the tremors slowly subside. Still inside her, Mulder rolls to her 
right side, so as not to crush her beneath his weight. His arms 
encircle her,  his hand stroking her hair as she rest her head on his 
chest.

She wants him again, and again, but suddenly an unbidden thought 
enters her mind. Dammit, of all the bad timing in the world. She 
turns to gaze at the clock by his bed and then turns back to him. He 
is gazing at her with a drowsy smile across his lips.

She smiles. "You look sleepy."

"Well, I think I am, that was quite a work out we had there."

"I could go all night."

Mulder chuckles and moves his pelvis against her. " I bet you 
could. Unfortunately the male libido doesn't begin to rival the 
female. 

"You can say that again."

"Are you complaining, my little minx?"

"Minx? Hmph, already with the nicknames."

"My little Sculy-wully then."

She gently punches him in the belly..." Watch it buddy."

"Ooff, well I can see this new status as lover won't be garnering me 
any special treatment from my Scully-poo."

Scully pushes him away with mock exasperation. "Oh, you are 
impossible." He slides out from her reluctantly, feeling the loss of 
contact immediately. She climbs out of the bed and stumbles naked 
across the room. 

Mulder rises up on his elbow in alarm at her sudden and complete 
departure. "Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom. Boy,  you were protective before..." She turns 
back to him smiling and he winks. His eyes travel to her bare 
bottom. She places her hands on her hips. "See something you 
like?"

He grins. "Are you coming back soon, I think I'm waking up 
again."

Her smile fades. "Mmmmm, Mulder as much as I want to, I can't 
stay all night.. in fact..." 

His face falls. "Why not?"

She moves closer to the bed and brushes his hair off his brow. Fear 
is evident in his eyes. She quickly looks away, not wanting to let it 
in. "Nothing like that, Mulder. It's just that Mom is coming over to 
take me to breakfast before work." She glances at the clock that 
reads 4:43am. "In about 2 hours actually and if I'm here... I  haven't 
seen her in months, I can't cancel again." She refocuses on him,  
relieved to see his fear has dissolved into simple disappointment.

"Even if you had some urgent case we had to follow?"

"Mulder."

"Ok ok, so sue me for wanting you."

Scully smiles and leans down to kiss his lips softly, "Never, poopy-
head." She giggles. Then rises and proceeds to the bathroom,  
retrieving her clothes along the way. She leaves the door open, no 
point in modesty now. Though once she is alone in the small room 
on the toilet, the full power of what has just transpired hits her. Her 
body tingles all over with the lingering passion. She flushes at the 
memory of his hands on her skin. The thought of him moving 
inside her sends a shock of pleasure up through her middle as the 
flood pushes out into the bowl beneath her. She shudders with joy 
at this second release.

Soon she reluctantly pulls on her underwear and bra. She then 
stands to  zip up her skirt and pulls down  her sweater. She peers 
into the mirror and adjusts her hair. Here eyes staring back at her 
echo the voice of her mother and 100's of nuns. She looks away 
and snaps off the thoughts,  refusing to spoil the moment. But the 
conversations have already seeped into her mind.

Which is why when she finally leaves the bathroom to find Mulder 
softly snoring, she is relieved. It is better to leave before  he sees 
the fear in her eyes. Fear of love, fear of change. Fear of the 
reasons this happened. For she knows deep down, though she 
denies the very thoughts. And she knows this joy won't last 
forever. Soon the darkness of the world they move within, will 
come back to rip at them. Tearing their hearts and lives asunder 
once again. She banishes the thoughts to the recesses of her mind 
and focuses on Mulder.

He looks so beautiful lying there, naked limbs tangled with the 
sheets. The deep desire to crawl back into his arms wars with her 
fear and practical self, finally losing in spite of its allure. She walks 
forward to the foot of the bed and grabs her jacket still draped 
there. She pauses again, drinking in his scent, the curve of his arm 
on the side of the bed where she had been.... her side. 

Then she moves toward the door, a smile playing at her lips as she 
slips quietly from the room, the apartment... out into the hall and 
down the elevator to the lobby. She catches a glimpse of her smile 
in the polished brass band above the mailboxes. It looks strange on 
her, joy... when was the last time she entered a day feeling this 
way? The crisp air of the morning just before sunrise hits her as 
she leaves the building making her miss his arms all the more 
sharply. But as she starts up the car and pulls out into the street 
headed to her side of town, the smile still plays across her 
features... as it does all the way home.

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